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10 Signs Your Coercive Controlling Ex No Longer Has Power Over You


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Dealing with a coercive ex can be a draining and deeply emotional experience. They often manipulate through subtle means, leaving you doubting yourself and questioning your reality. Breaking free from their influence is a significant victory. Here are some signs that your covert narcissist ex no longer has power over you:

10 Signs You're Healed and Found Inner Power:


1. Emotional Detachment

One of the most evident signs is emotional detachment. You no longer feel that intense emotional reaction—whether it's anger, sadness, or confusion—when you think about or encounter your ex. Their actions no longer dictate your emotional state, and you find yourself feeling neutral or indifferent towards them.

2. Regained Confidence

Your self-esteem has returned, and you no longer second-guess your decisions. You trust your judgment and feel confident in your abilities. The constant self-doubt that once plagued you has faded, and you’re able to assert yourself without fear of judgment or retaliation.

3. Healthy Boundaries

You've established and maintained healthy boundaries. You recognize manipulative tactics and refuse to engage. You limit communication to about the kids' needs and enforce personal boundaries without guilt.


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4. No Longer Seeking Validation

You no longer seek their approval or validation. In the past, you might have bent over backwards to please them or sought their praise. Now, you rely on your inner sense of self-worth and don’t feel the need to prove anything to them.

5. Shift in Thinking and Focus

The mental loop of replaying past conversations or predicting their next move has significantly reduced. You no longer obsess over what they might do or say, and you’ve stopped overanalyzing every interaction. Your focus is now on your children and your personal lifestyle. 

6. Reconnection with Others

Your relationships with friends and family have improved. Coercive individuals often isolate their partners, but you’ve reconnected with your support network. You feel more socially connected and supported by loved ones who truly care about you.

7. Pursuit of Personal Goals

You’re actively pursuing your personal goals and interests, such a new career or hobbies. Your ex no longer hinders your progress or distracts you from your aspirations. You feel empowered to follow your passions and dreams without their interference.

8. Clarity and Peace

Your mind is clearer, and you experience a sense of peace. The chaos and confusion that once dominated your thoughts have subsided. You feel more centered, balanced, and at peace with your past and present.


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9. Acceptance and Letting Go

You’ve reached a place of acceptance—they believe in their own false narrative. You’ve let go of trying to help them see reality, understanding that holding onto these feelings of frustration only harms you. Letting go of the power struggle allows you to move forward without the emotional baggage.

10. No More Excuses

You’ve stopped making excuses for their behavior. You see their actions for what they are and no longer minimize the impact of their lack of integrity. This clarity helps you stay firm in your boundaries to keep them from regaining control.





Breaking free from a coercive controlling ex’s grip is a journey that requires strength and resilience. Recognizing these signs in your life is a testament to your growth and healing. Celebrate your progress and continue to nurture the newfound freedom and independence you've gained. Remember, your well-being is paramount, and no one has the right to undermine it.


If you're not quite there yet, you're not alone. It can take years to heal from a toxic relationship and undo all the emotional and psychological manipulation. Have patience with yourself. For more guided support, set up a call here.

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